My initial thought was to write this as the celebration of my surgery's first anniversary - 19th August. Then I thought why not as a year end thanksgiving and so many different thoughts.
Tonight, I decided to look through one last time, make changes, corrections and post anyway.
2020 was a long and hard year for everyone - the pandemic BUT by December, personally, I had an extra burden added on, so I guess this 'story' actually starts from there.
I read recently of someone who ignored symptoms of cervical cancer or something (forgive me, I can't remember the full story), bottom line, she didn't take it serious and by the time she did, it was too late.
Lemme digress a little with a quick question, has the internet taken away our privacy or has it afforded us the opportunity to share better; share and exchange beneficial information?
For me, I guess it's kinda a mix of both and it's up to each one of us, what we make of it, right?
Back to the story, I repeat, this is an experience I had mixed feelings sharing BUT at the end of it all, I wouldn't be as thankful as I claim to be always, especially keeping this to myself and also knowing that so many people are going through even worse and have kept quiet.
This here is my personal experience and similarity to anyone's experience is just that, a similarity (especially as many are going through this now).
Remember the menopause jist - December 2020? Like I said, this is kind of a continuation, so here we go.
Might be a bit more information than y'all need BUT hey ... Here goes everything!
All my life, my menstrual flow at its worst would usually be max three days and it was usually easy for me, compared to others, so I was honestly ambivalent about it until I started bleeding uncontrollably and painfully. At this point, of course, we had to check and we found a fibroid, over 40+, adult children, tor... What's going on here? Okay, no worries. Let's see, we can treat na! Abi, try and make it smaller or disappear. So we started everything - medical, herbal, prayers and what have you!
Ofcourse, being menopausal at this point maybe didn't help and I was having menstrual flow swings, sometimes I would go so long without and sometimes, we would keep bleeding.
2020 was the dreaded pandemic year, lock down, fear and everything dark. Around May 2020, Dr. M and my surgeon felt the need for me to have a hysterectomy (they believed removing the fibroid was futile, especially as I hopefully was done with child bearing - my last born was 18 at this point), I refused pointblank and I even jokingly said 'you would get a vasectomy too because we are in this together'. The discussion came up at different times through the year and my major excuse was Ms.'Rona as I didn't want to get infected in any form☺️.
Fast forward to December 2020, I had gone for Festival dry and excited because for the first time in a long time, no period and then, on the 30th, as I was getting into bed, I just felt this 'familiar / unfamiliar' wetness and I burst into tears. As I wasn't prepared for it, I had to scar Dr. M (well, I guess he's used to it, living amongst females), by making him get the necessary items needed.
2021, we continued our lives and guess what, I was bleeding all this while, now non-stop.
Be nice, you never know what anyone is going through.
Me, I continued my life o. Happy as I could be, enduring and ensuring that I kept well, believing and hoping this too shall pass.
It didn't!
August 2021! Dr. M said 'Tee, you need to do this. This bleeding isn't normal. Your uterus isn't meant to be this stressed and could lead to something else. Please. I am begging you'. At this point, he was thinking of the 'C' word. Honestly, I ignored him and then one day, he came and said 'your surgeon has fixed a date for after your birthday and I promise you, Tee, every precaution will be taken. We will spray, everyone would be masked and suited up all through your stay. Everything will be as sterile as possible. Please.'
My birthday! 5th of August! It was like a death sentence. My life was flashing before me everyday and boy was it harrowing. Apparently, I stopped eating, I think I just stopped living and I didn't even know it.
Before this, I had been chatting with my photographer that I needed a shoot and usually, I would prep and all BUT I couldn't bring myself to actually get to it. Diva! I love that lady! One day, she said, come tomorrow ma, I will have the pictures ready on time, don't worry.
Now, guess why I went! My thought at this point, even though noone knew was that, should anything happen, at least, they would have good and recent pictures to use.
#thisis49... That was my birthday # and this birthday meant so much to me at this point because honestly, my thought was... 'what if?'. I stayed home praying, reflecting and generally just ... I don't know! I had a will drawn BUT I couldn't say anything to anyone as talking about it made it so real!
I was terrified!
Honestly, I don't know how I was doing it BUT I was 'functioning', howbeit on auto!
The 19th was scheduled. Blood work done, everything and finally it was the day. I hadn't told anyone, not my mum, not my children, no-one. Even my staff didn't know I wasn't coming in that day.
They said it would take two (2) hours max and we were in there for almost six (6) hours!
Dr. Kay is the best ever honestly. His first question as I laid there 'why is she pale? This woman has no blood, please set up the blood now.' Meanwhile Dr.M had noted that earlier and he's reason was 'when you were not eating, Tee.'
The blood is set up and Dr. Kay had the anaesthetist give an epidural because according to him, he wanted me awake throughout, then he prayed and started playing his music. The surgery started and we were talking, I was telling him I could feel what he was doing and at a point, I was even going to touch... what? I don't know and he warned me very sternly.
After a while, I honestly couldn't take the tugging and pulling (that was what it felt like to me) I was feeling and I kept begging to be sedated and finally they did. During the procedure, the surgery assistant fainted, it was a bit too much for her I guess. Now, the strange part was 'you know that feeling of hovering and seeing yourself lying there', I experienced this (the outofbody experience). I saw my dad seated beside me, calmly, looking at me and I saw my mum by her bed praying... The anaesthetist kept adjusting my head BUT I kept returning it to the same position where I could see my dad and I guess the fact that he was calm actually told me I would 'make' it. Ps. My dad died 12years ago, The Lord bless and guide his spirit always😞.
A week pre surgery I had been in serious pain, I couldn't stretch well, sitting, standing and walking was a problem and I thought I had sprained something while exercising. During this period, my cousin's wife saw me creaking and moaning trying to get out of my chair and laughing said, 'Aunty, not yet na', joking about old age and all. Guess what, the fibroids had grown and was / were sitting comfortably on something (a vein or whatever) hence the pain😱.
Meanwhile, life was happening. I had meetings, I didn't show up. People were trying to reach me, noone could. We were running a couple of activations (I almost returned an advance for one we hadn't started as I wasn't sure of the 'future') and an event was coming up. My daughters had been asking after me because if I wasn't speaking with them, we were chatting BUT so far nothing? Apparently people were panicking BUT I didn't know any of this!
Finally it was over! I was out of surgery BUT they had to ensure I came too, speak with and recognize them as well as finish the blood before I could finally sleep.
It was over BUT it was just starting.
As soon as the anesthesia wore out, they made me stand up and walk a bit. Apparently, movement is important (or all the work done could be ruined as Dr. Kay said) because you could clot and this could lead to any and many things. Movement was important for him and he came daily to ensure that this happened (gladly Dr. M would come in early, hold me and walk me then back to bed). I obviously couldn't eat or drink until I farted first (this is usual for any surgery that affects your 'inner'), so three days on drip and then finally, I was being fed 10ml of warm water every 30minutes until they were sure I could 'manage' it.
Then it was time to go home as I honestly needed my home.
Ofcourse it was time to tell my daughters. Thankfully, I was here to tell them myself and ofcourse we cried and laughed together. I told my mum only after I got back home and my other loved ones.
Now recovery! Strangely, the road to recovery wasn't as bad as I had been told and expected, all thanks to Dr. M. It wasn't easy, boy! It wasn't easy BUT, I give thanks.
By the time I could finally go out, I couldn't climb steps, I couldn't do quite a lot and I had a lot of 're-learning' to do, honestly, the feeling of helplessness brought me to tears at different times BUT we did it and all Glory to The Most High.
Too many things happened BUT I have tried to share what I thought or think will help someone else.
Please get checked, seek medical advice and keep checking. I trust second opinions and maybe you should too.
It also became imperative that I shared this as all sorts of things are happening around me, female related issues that actually shouldn't be issues BUT as we are all very secretive and closeted with these kind of things, I thought to share and hope my story will help one or two people.
Prayers work but get checked and have medical guidance, at least that way, you have an idea where or to what your prayers are aimed at.
I honestly hope this helps someone.
Tee!
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